What’s Your Super Power?
What’s your super power? Better question: What are your super powers?
You do have more than one super power. You do. If I asked you, “What is your weakness?” I bet you can answer that question with five answers without blinking your eye, most humans can. We are told our weaknesses often, even by people who love us and think they are saying it kindly or doing us a favor. In fact, they are doing you a favor.
What are those weaknesses? Can you look at them as strengths and list them as such?
I saw this on a t-shirt: I am a woman. What is your super power?
I thought it was clever and empowering. I also realized how many people are raised believing being a woman is not only, not a super power, but a liability, a shame, a burden. It made me think of the things I heard recently that were phrased as a liability, not a power and made me wonder if we rephrased all of those beliefs into power what would we feel like?
One of my partners at work recently described herself to a colleague. She said, “I am an introvert.” The colleague said, “Don’t sell yourself short like that.” I thought, “What?” There is something beautiful about people who know themselves and can be honest about it with others. Most introverts are able to navigate professional, personal, and social situations as well as an extrovert. They simply require more self care on the back and front end. They don’t gather their energy from social interactions, they expend it. That isn’t a liability, it is a part of a symbiotic relationship we have as humans with each other. It isn’t that being an introvert is less than, or that being an extrovert is greater than. It is that being that part of an ecosystem is valuable, and it should be valued.
At a leadership training recently I was described by the facilitator as sensitive. I cringed. I know with every fiber of my being I could be labeled as a person with Hyper Sensitivity Disorder. I know I am sensitive because of how the simplest things affect me deeply. I know I am sensitive because I am told it on a weekly basis. I was hoping I could walk into this leadership training with a cloak of armor on, and avoid who I am. I did not. And then the facilitator said, “Being sensitive isn’t a bad thing. I am really glad you are here and are willing to bravely speak your truth. I think others will learn a lot from you if they are willing to.”
Following are a few statements I have heard recently that can be rephrased this way. What others can you think of?
I am nice. What is your super power?
I am an introvert. What is your super power?
I am sensitive. What is your super power?
I am a freak. What is your super power?
I am smart. What is your super power?
I am shy. What is your super power?
I am strong. What is your super power?
I am a people pleaser. What is your super power?
We are all able to describe ourselves and others. I challenge you to use those descriptive words and see them as a strength, as an asset, as a super power, and see how it changes your life and how you see yourself, and how you see others.
Ok, you seriously must be hanging on waiting for me. I mean there hasn’t been any comments in years. I found you thru the dr sally spencer website via google. I was, like you, googling help for families of attempt survivors. My daughter is currently in psychiatric hospital after her second attempt in 8 months. I am sooooo angry. I don’t think I can act otherwise. I haven’t gone to see her and I don’t want her to come home to live here. I don’t feel like I am having the right attitude. I feel like I will make her worse. I don’t believe I can say not one right thing. How do you give someone gentle encouragement when all you want to do is throw in the towel? Any ideas for me? I bought your book and am currently gorging on it. I now realize I am in grief but our daughter has been a challenge since day one. and shes 27. I hope you are still out there…I could use a word of encouragement. Shes supposed to come home Friday. Thanks for being out here in cyber world. Your presence was like a zephyr to me.
Hi Deb, I am here. You are in compassionate company. I am so happy you found this resource and my hope is it helps you and your family. I am sad to hear about your daughter and I understand your anger. I have been where you are now.
Today: talk to the psychiatric hospital and ask them for resources of transitional housing and other options so she doesn’t have to come and live with you and your don’t have to have her live with you. Options are powerful tools for everyone in this situation. Make short term plans. Find housing for the next month for her while she transitions to taking responsibility for her life.
Do not judge yourself for not having the right attitude. Accept what you think and feel. Period. Then make decisions based on that. Do not filter your heart.
I know how you feel about not being able to say the right thing and feeling like you will make things worse. That may or may not be true but I understand it.
Please see the link of what to say and what not to say to someone who has attempted suicide. That is the best advise I can give you.
I suggest finding a therapist for you today as well.
I am still out here and wish I could give you the biggest longest hug. I am not going anywhere and will be here for you, and all people affected by suicide attempts.
Keep doing the right things for the right reasons. It is ok to not have the answers. Take GREAT care of you!
Acceptance Strength Healing ASH Attempted Suicide Help
Thank you for your reply. She is home now and happy, joyous, grateful, thankful and all the things you hope for, yet I am cautiously optimistic, watchfully pessimistic and not quite as convinced as she is that all is well now that shes back on med, knows the red flags, has all the lingo down pat. If I sound like a bitch, I probably am. Sorry, Ive been down this road so many times Ive lost count, well the suicide thing is relatively new. Twice now. But the moods and the highs and lows and the loudly proclaimed need for me to keep quiet about my concerns because its being handled is just not much comfort. I believe this may be a new trend. Sadly to say. Lucky as she is, she still has her job. Amazing.
I’m going to keep working on my attitude.
You are welcome! Thank you for letting me know how you are and for the update. You don’t sound like a bitch. Many of us have been down this road more times than we keep track of and I understand. Sending peace and comfort to your heart and soul.
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